Tuesday, November 6

To Whom It May Concern

Dear Night Laundry gal:

You start your shift at the hotel, at 11:00 P.M., as mine is ending. When you get to work, you have a lot to talk about apparently and you begin to yap away. Now don't get me wrong, I am a social person and you are very entertaining when you tell your life stories. But darling, my shift is over, I am exhausted and I need to get home. See, my two kids get up at the crack of dawn. Actually, they get up earlier now that daylight savings changed my life around. And I have been up since 5:30 A.M. If I don't leave the hotel soon, it'll be midnight when I get home. My pregnant self needs a snack, so at this rate, I am going to only get 4 hours of sleep and then I have to chase my kids around.
I felt bad this evening, because you were obviously bothered by something, so I thought I'd be nice and lend an empathetic ear as you told me about some issues going on in your life. You had tears in your eyes and I couldn't just leave you like that. But honestly, deep down, I was praying for you to shoosh. When that story of yours ended, I mentioned to you about needing sleep and my kids getting up early and one being sick and I thought maybe you were freeing me. I had my keys and purse in hand and I had my body angled toward the door. But you started telling me another story about the guy you are dating and then another about this guy who likes you and then you whipped out your old high school ID cards so that I could see you with blond and red hair. And as fun as it all was, I was about to get on my hands and knees and hysterically beg you to let me go home.
And the worst thing is, you do this every time you work. I love it when the other night laundry gal comes in, because she doesn't talk to me. I am able to leave work at 11:00 P.M. It's glorious.
I understand you can't relate to me when I tell you why I need to go home and sleep. You are 21 years old and you don't have any kids. But if you were a mom, you'd shoo me out the door and tell me to get rest. My pregnant tired self, with her hands full, needs sleep.
And I do so appreciate the adult conversation, and I do know that you are wide awake, because you slept all day, since you work a night shift, but please, please, please empathize with me. PLEASE!

Sleep deprived Front desk agent

Dear Walk-in hotel guest who came in the hotel doors at 11:45 P.M., looking for a room for the night:

THANK YOU! You abruptly ended the conversation and opened up an opportunity for me to slip out the doors, race to my car and drive home. I can now get 4 and a half hours of sleep. I am forever indebted to you.

leaping with glee to my car.