So I found a new monday Meme over at Fruit In Season and it's all about marriage. This week's topic is nagging. Yep, a wife's nagging. And because of that, I felt that this was a great week for me to start. Because, folks, I am a nagger and I am not proud of it. Although I feel I am improving in the nagging arena, I know I do it...A LOT...TOO MUCH!
A few years ago, I read Stormie OMartain's book, The Power of a Praying Wife. That was the first time I really truly felt convicted in the area of my nagging.
She starts out her book by making it clear that we, as wives, need to look at our own hearts and pray for ourselves to change, before focusing on the things that we would like for our husbands to change about themselves. She also stresses the importance of being quiet and praying.
Stormie OMartain paraphrases a Biblical verse by stating, "There is a time to speak and a time not to speak, and happy is the man whose wife can discern between the two."
What I learned from Stormie, is that...although I feel at times that my ideas, opinions and ways to go about them are wonderful(even when that really isn't the case), they aren't perfect. Only God's ways are perfect. And when I may want to address my hubby with something, suggest something, or demand something, if I would just shoosh and pray, God may put it onto my heart in a different way. He may show me that it really isn't a need right now. He may show me a different way to go about approaching my husband. Or, he may just ask me to continue to pray about it and wait on His timing.
The times when I nag the most, it's all about me.....me, me, me and what I want or need at that particular moment. It's selfish and it usually comes across in that way and all it does is bring about defensiveness or anger. I need to be careful about how I speak, when I speak and why I speak.
"A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back." (Proverbs 29:11)
I like Esther's example. She didn't go to the king and in a rude way (although it would really be out of love)let him know that he is silly to believe such lies and that he needs to realize the ways in which his friends are conspiring against him. Instead she went to God. She prayed, she fasted and she followed God on the matter. She waited on His timing. As God prepared the king's heart, Esther prayed and then ministered to her husband with love. And just as He did for Esther, God will give us the words to say and show us when to say them. His words, His timing and His approach are perfect.
So, I know that I need to quit nagging my hubby for every little thing....especially when those things are so minuscule...like how I feel that he doesn't change a diaper the correct way. When really it's fine. He just doesn't change it MY way!!!
I know I'd hate for someone to constantly be on my case for every little thing. I nag myself enough as it is. So, why do I do it to someone else...especially someone who I care about and love so much?
So, I need to change. I need to ask God to continue to point out to me my nagging errors. And I need to ask for Him daily, to shut my mouth when I don't need to be speaking!
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