So Tired

Phew, I am finally done. I just now, at 10:35 P.M., turned in my last assignment for my Photoshop class. It was such a time consuming class. This is the first class I have taken so far in my program that really wore me out. But, I also have a lot going on right now and I am still feeling my 1st trimester fatigue.

Poor Kristen, a blog design customer, has been having to deal with a servicer who has been very late in getting things done. I promise Kristen, if you are reading this, I will be emailing you your design tomorrow.

I unfortunately don't have a break from classes. My next class, which is advanced web scripting, including java and dreamweaver, starts tomorrow. And, I never bought my textbook. It completely slipped my mind. That is so not like me. But again, there has been so much going on right now. My hubby separates from the Air Force in September, so we've been dealing with going back and forth between should we move, should we stay. We've been searching job ads. I've been looking into short term insurance for us, since once he leaves the Air Force, we will no longer have benefits. So, it's been a crazy time.

Tonight, my midwife came out for an hour or so to meet with me and the hubby. She answered a lot of questions, gave me a wealth of information and made me excited to have my child at home. I had my first two in the hospital.

With my oldest, an almost 4 year old girl, the miss, everything that could possibly go wrong in a labor went wrong. First of all, we were military at the time and for each appointment, I had a different doctor, so that I could meet them all...because it wasn't certain who would be the one on call when I had the baby. So that was weird. It was like at each appointment, I had to go over stuff that I previously went over, but was new to them. I was induced, because she was late. I had wanted to do it naturally, but the pitocin just made everything so hard. By 6 or 7, I got an epidural. I had forceps used in my delivery and it was all so rushed. The communication with the doctors and nurses was horrible. They kind of demanded what needed to be done, without really talking about it with us or explaining it. In a way, it was kinda scary. I bled a lot, I had a 3rd degree tear. And, I ended up having a spinal headache because the epidural was administered incorrectly. They punctured a hole in my spinal area, so fluid was leaking out and it was the WORST headache known to man. So then I had to come back to the hospital to take care of that. I also ended up with a horrible kidney infection as well.

Fast forward to the mister's birth. He is the little guy who just turned one last month. He was born in a different state, but still military. At the military hospital where I had my appointments and birth, they did have midwives on staff. I fell in love with and saw one of them for a few appointments, but then she went away, either on deployment or vacation and I never saw her again.
I was 4 days late with the mister. My water broke, gushed, at home at around 11:30 or so. When I got to the hospital, the doctor there, to deliver the baby, was some guy who I had never met before. That was kinda weird. My nurse was wonderful though. My contractions were intense. They were right on top of each other, with no break. And I had back labor as well. I was in a lot of pain. Thankfully, from my Bradley classes with my first, I understood where in labor I was. I could tell when I was in transition. I got to the hospital at around midnight and had the mister 3 hours later. I knew I was progressing quickly, but when I told the nurses, I got the impression that they didn't believe me. But then they checked me and realized that I wasn't lying. I had an epidural, which I must admit I was afraid of, because of the experience I had with the miss. But, I was in pain. It never worked in time and I felt all of my contractions. It did numb me for the actual pushing and delivery however.

Since this is my 3rd baby and I am having it close to the mister. I am confident that my body will know what to do and remember and that it will go pretty quickly. I know that I can handle labor without meds, but will definitely need help with relaxation and different positions, which I will have the luxury of having. I did tear with the mister as well. And I talked to the midwife about that as well. She said that if I do a water birth and or get into a different position to deliver, that I should greatly reduce my risk of tearing. In the hospital, I would never be allowed to deliver in a different position.

Having births at home is safe. My midwife is certified and has done 179 births since being a midwife. However, she had to apprentice, assist and train for many years. So she has been involved in hundreds more. She has only had to call 911 3 times. Once for a baby who just had severe respiratory problems. One for a mom who was hemorrhaging while delivering a placenta and once for a mom who had a baby wanting to come out feet first.

Safety, mine and the baby's, is her number one priority. She is very well trained. She has to be.

It will be nice to be at home, in the comfort at home, with a midwife who knows me...with the same midwife who has done all of my prenatal care. With the midwife who will assist me with positioning and things to help ease my pain. Who will allow things to progress naturally. Who will not be so eager to grab the forceps.

A lot of the time, hospitals rush it and rush it. Our bodies were designed to give birth in a natural way...progressing naturally. Sometimes, when too much focus is put on how quickly we progress or administering pitocin to speed things along, the body is taken out of its natural course. And then problems arise. And too many c-sections happen....Really.

I know I have some concerned friends who feel that a hospital is safer. But if I am low risk and healthy, there really is no difference...unless there was a life or death or real serious incident. In which case, I could be at the hospital in 3 minutes with an ambulance here in 45 seconds. But I won't be needing that. I'll be fine.

Okay, I am done rambling. I really need some rest.